The majority of people don’t want to talk about the impact hearing loss has on relationships, even though it’s a problem many people cope with. Both partners can feel frustrated by the misunderstandings that are created by hearing loss.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner isn’t it the perfect opportunity to show your love and appreciation for your loved one? Discussing hearing loss together is a great way to do this.
Having “the talk”
Studies have found that a person with neglected hearing loss is 2.4 times more likely to develop dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease. A cascade effect that will inevitably affect the whole brain will be initiated when the part of your brain responsible for hearing becomes less engaged. This is called brain atrophy by doctors. It’s the “use it or lose it” idea in action.
Depression rates are nearly half in people who have normal hearing compared to people who have hearing loss. People frequently become stressed and agitated as their hearing loss worsens according to research. The person could start to seclude themselves from friends and family. They are also likely to avoid involving themselves in the activities they used to enjoy as they fall deeper into a state of depression.
Relationships between family, friends, and others then become tense. It’s essential to be patient and work together to find solutions to communication problems.
Mystery solved
Your loved one may not be ready to tell you they’re developing hearing loss. They might be afraid or embarrassed. Denial might have set in. You might need to do a bit of detective work to determine when it’s time to have the talk.
Here are some outward clues you will need to rely on because you can’t hear what other people are hearing:
- Repeated misunderstandings
- Complaining about buzzing, humming, static, or other noises that you don’t hear
- Cranking the volume way up on your TV
- Starting to notice anxiety and agitation in social situations
- Failing to hear alerts, doorbells, and other significant sounds
- Avoiding busy places
- School, work, and hobbies are starting to become difficult
- Avoiding conversations
Plan on having a heart-to-heart talk with your loved one if you detect any of these symptoms.
What is the best way to talk about hearing loss?
This talk might not be an easy one to have. A spouse in denial might brush it off or become defensive. That’s why it’s important to approach hearing loss in a sensitive and appropriate way. The steps will be pretty much the same but possibly with some slight modifications based on your particular relationship situation.
- Step 1: Let them know that you love them without condition and value your relationship.
- Step 2: You are worried about their health. You’ve seen the research. You’re aware that untreated hearing loss can result in a higher risk of depression and dementia. You don’t want your loved one to experience that.
- Step 3: You’re also worried about your own health and safety. An excessively loud TV could harm your hearing. In addition, studies show that increased noise can trigger anxiety, which may impact your relationship. Your loved one might not hear you calling for help if you’ve fallen or somebody’s broken into the house. People connect with others through emotion. Merely listing facts won’t have as much impact as painting an emotional picture.
- Step 4: Agree together to make an appointment to get a hearing test. Do it immediately after making the decision. Don’t delay.
- Step 5: Be ready for opposition. You could find these oppositions at any point in the process. This is a person you know well. What will their doubts be? Money? Time? Possibly they don’t see that it’s a problem. Do they believe they can use homemade remedies? (You know “natural hearing loss cures” don’t really work and could do more harm than good.)
Have your responses prepared beforehand. Even a bit of practice can’t hurt. They don’t need to match those listed above word-for-word, but they should concentrate on your loved one’s concerns.
Relationship growth
Talking about hearing loss isn’t easy if your partner doesn’t want to discuss it. Developing a plan to deal with potential communication challenges and the effect hearing loss can have on your relationship will help both partners have confidence that their worries will be heard and understood. By having this discussion, you’ll grow closer and get your loved one the help they need to live a longer, healthier, more rewarding life. And relationships are, after all, about growing together.
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults